Leaving the hospital, after the loss of your baby is among one of the many excruciating things we are forced to do in the aftermath of baby loss.
There are so many implications that come with leaving the hospital, you’re leaving a bubble that has in some ways contained the reality of what has happened. It means going back to “normal”, watching the world continue on and carry on while yours has collapsed. It means having to face people and sharing the reality of what has happened. It means everything will start to finally really sink in.
Most painful of all, is knowing that leaving the hospital means leaving your baby behind. Sometimes for the last time. This is already unbearable in itself, however to walk this path without any support is unfair and cruel.
Unfortunately, once discharged from the hospital many people fall through the gaps and are completely forgotten about. As if, just because our baby didn’t make it home, we don’t deserve the checks up, as if our experience invalidates the fact that we gave birth to a baby at all. In reality the level of our care should be tenfold because the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual toll of this experience are incomparable.
What was supposed to be the most beautiful moment of your life has been completely tarnished forever. The physical effects of birthing plus the effects of witnessing your baby die within you or just after you gave birth to them, needs to be taken seriously and parents must be properly looked after. Immediate and appropriate care is a lifeline for parents who may otherwise not see a way to carry on living.
That is why the work that is being carried out by the incredible Held in Our Hearts Charity makes a beneficial and impactful difference to parents.
About Held in our Hearts
Held in Our Hearts is a Scottish based charity (across Lothians, Fife, Forth Valley, the Borders and in the Highlands). They provide families with baby loss counselling and peer support. With over 40 years experience and the majority of their staff having baby loss lived experience, their approach is compassionate and understanding.
Among the many incredible support services they provide families, the Hospital to Home is extremely unique and completely necessary. Particularly as it is an opt-out as opposed to an opt-in program, meaning all recently bereaved parents experiencing baby loss (after 12 weeks and up to 1 year of age) will be eligible for the service currently available in NHS Lothian, NHS Fife, NHS Forth Valley and NHS Highland.
What is the H2H service?
Held in Our Hearts launched their Hospital to Home service in 2022, the aim is to help parents with an early intervention, by visiting their home within the first 3 weeks of experiencing baby or infant loss.
“Support can include assistance with planning funeral/memorial arrangements, help to prepare for and attend follow up hospital appointments, provision of information on grief to you and extended family, advice and support around returning to work, help to talk to siblings and the provision of books for home and school.”
Why is this important?
When we find out our baby has died, most times our initial reaction is to completely dissociate with the world at large. We are at a total loss, we barely know what to do, let alone what we want.
To have a service that comes to you without you having to look for them is absolutely crucial, particularly knowing it is coming from people who are trained, have lived experience and will also provide resources for our wellbeing. Giving parents tools, options and possibilities around their grief, validating their parenthood and how to navigate this new reality.
It is also important to note that the care provided by Held in Our Hearts is personalised to each individual experience, parents of varying backgrounds will have varying ways of experiencing and navigating grief and baby loss. These nuances that are influenced by the varying intersections we belong to our culture, race, sexual orientation means we will have different ways of dealing with and approaching our grief and these too need to be taken into account.
Opt-out services are a great way to make sure people who would often shy away from pursuing these helpful resources, are among the people who end up receiving and benefitting from this care.
Families will receive 6 to 8 sessions, which is then followed by a referral to the long term Peer Support or Counselling Service should they choose to continue. The services provided from the charity are actually quicker than that of the NHS, which is crucial.
Other Resources
Here is a list of the many other invaluable resources available through Held in Our Hearts:
- Ongoing Community Support
- Events for Communities
- Compassionate Care training to NHS staff, Police Scotland and Paramedic courses in two Universities in Scotland
- Baby loss training to companies for their returning employees.
- Sibling Support with Lyle’s Light
- Monthly Bereavement Support
- Twin & Multiple Loss Bereavement Support
- AEC - antenatal results and choices
- Subsequent pregnancy Support
- Parenting After Loss Group
- Male Bereavement Support
- Edinburgh Miscarriage Support Group
The services provided by Held in Our Hearts are incredible, there is much to be learnt through what this charity is providing bereaved families.
Support Held in Our Hearts Through Maila’s Present
At Maila’s Present, we are honoured to collaborate with Held in Our Hearts, a charity that makes a profound difference in the lives of many bereaved families.
The affiliate partnership we have with the charity, means purchasing one of our personalised baby loss storybooks, via this link you’re not only cherishing the memory of a much loved baby but also helping to support families who need it the most. A percentage of the proceeds from every book sold through this link will be donated directly to Held in Our Hearts, allowing them to continue offering compassionate care and essential resources to grieving parents.
